Post by res1 on Jul 16, 2020 22:02:11 GMT -5
"What is your name?"
...
"What is your name?"
"The sensual violence of lust is all the assurance you will ever need to know the worth of life."
"That is what I am. That is all I am. All I know is this single desire, and the crawling need for that release. I was like that before, I'm just more…focused, now."
After the conclusion of the previous interview, Drew Dream was interviewed.
"I've never liked that. It makes me feel horrible."
"Horrible, how?"
"Like…dirty. Like I need a hot shower. Even if it's me, it just feels…like I can feel the grime on my skin. The sound is worse. I try to just look away."
"You didn't try to stop it, though."
"No, no I didn't. I guess I didn't...well. I don't like it, and I don't want to see it, but I don't feel strong enough to intervene, I suppose."
"Enough to look away. Pretend it isn't happening."
The interview was put on hold. Inside the shower, the adoptive father surprised the poor wrestler and grabbed hold of him. Drew instinctively submitted.
Drew's body was covered head to toe in the foam of bath soap, the noise of running water in a shower is heard. Steam fogs up the mirror in the large bathroom. Drew runs his hand through his still-wet hair. Drew doesn't bother reaching for the towel as he steps from the shower.
Drew went over to wipe the mirror, as it looked like there was someone standing behind him, covered in blood.
"Demon, I see you, You cannot stay out of view. Stalk stalk stalk all you can, just know that I know your plan."
Drew began to pound on the mirror with his forearm until his forearm began to bleed.
Lee moved for the shower of the hotel room, turned the water on and climbed in. Lee emerged ten minutes later, wearing a towel around his waist. The two would get dressed and resume the interview after Lee opened the journal.
"Rejection is painful and terrifying. If I'm not rejected, then there's the responsibility to perform in a manner worthy of that acceptance. As a man in the world, I am judged by my accomplishments and I am ashamed of how few they are. I am in constant competition with other men and I am judged by the strength and grace by which I exert my will and influence socially. All of this provokes anxiety."
"I respond to my anxiety inwardly, by modifying my values and perceptions as opposed to outwardly, by attempting to impose my values on others."
"The way that I modify myself is to reject the desires of manliness that I have anxiety about achieving."
"I don't want to overcome men in competition, I want to seduce them sexually. I don't need worldly accomplishments because as a desirable object, I am judged by my value as that object."
"I am able to participate in the world, whereas before I had identified as a non-participating person."
"To say I didn't play sports was really an understatement, I'd have gotten creamed. I always hated playing rough, and getting rough, and I hated getting dirty at all. "
"Mom made me feel warm and loved but didn't support me, this led to feelings of being broken."
"Dad didn't think that I was worth because I was broken."
"I was woken up around twelve or thirteen."
"Pretty much all I did was play video games. "
...
"What is your name?"
"The sensual violence of lust is all the assurance you will ever need to know the worth of life."
"That is what I am. That is all I am. All I know is this single desire, and the crawling need for that release. I was like that before, I'm just more…focused, now."
Morbid Lust then began to initiate a sexual act with Lee, who continued to appear confused. The interview was terminated before aggressive actions could be taken.
Morbid is not unlike Doktor Gex that has potentially destructive inclinations which can posses Daniel Dream, such as the drive to aggression and unbridled sexual lust. Instead of advocating for the repression of Doktor Gex, I recommend we explore and become familiar with this potentially destructive alter.
After the conclusion of the previous interview, Drew Dream was interviewed.
"I've never liked that. It makes me feel horrible."
"Horrible, how?"
"Like…dirty. Like I need a hot shower. Even if it's me, it just feels…like I can feel the grime on my skin. The sound is worse. I try to just look away."
"You didn't try to stop it, though."
"No, no I didn't. I guess I didn't...well. I don't like it, and I don't want to see it, but I don't feel strong enough to intervene, I suppose."
"Enough to look away. Pretend it isn't happening."
The interview was put on hold. Inside the shower, the adoptive father surprised the poor wrestler and grabbed hold of him. Drew instinctively submitted.
Drew's body was covered head to toe in the foam of bath soap, the noise of running water in a shower is heard. Steam fogs up the mirror in the large bathroom. Drew runs his hand through his still-wet hair. Drew doesn't bother reaching for the towel as he steps from the shower.
Drew went over to wipe the mirror, as it looked like there was someone standing behind him, covered in blood.
"Demon, I see you, You cannot stay out of view. Stalk stalk stalk all you can, just know that I know your plan."
Drew began to pound on the mirror with his forearm until his forearm began to bleed.
Lee moved for the shower of the hotel room, turned the water on and climbed in. Lee emerged ten minutes later, wearing a towel around his waist. The two would get dressed and resume the interview after Lee opened the journal.
"Rejection is painful and terrifying. If I'm not rejected, then there's the responsibility to perform in a manner worthy of that acceptance. As a man in the world, I am judged by my accomplishments and I am ashamed of how few they are. I am in constant competition with other men and I am judged by the strength and grace by which I exert my will and influence socially. All of this provokes anxiety."
While their desires are one-faceted, they are still capable of feeling pain and being afraid
"The way that I modify myself is to reject the desires of manliness that I have anxiety about achieving."
"I don't want to overcome men in competition, I want to seduce them sexually. I don't need worldly accomplishments because as a desirable object, I am judged by my value as that object."
Drew is vindictive, promiscuous, dangerous.
Drew is indeed a complex animal, not a man, not a girl, shares many features of dogs.
Drew is indeed a complex animal, not a man, not a girl, shares many features of dogs.
Docility, loyalty, friendliness, excitability, instinct-driven.
It should be noted that Drew responds strongly to commands, positive reinforcement, and general dominance. (something that I may explore in a journal update)
"To say I didn't play sports was really an understatement, I'd have gotten creamed. I always hated playing rough, and getting rough, and I hated getting dirty at all. "
Drew is vindictive, promiscuous, dangerous.
Drew is indeed a complex animal, not a man, not a girl, shares many features of dogs.
Drew is indeed a complex animal, not a man, not a girl, shares many features of dogs.
Docility, loyalty, friendliness, excitability, instinct-driven.
It should be noted that Drew responds strongly to commands, positive reinforcement, and general dominance. (something that I may explore in a journal update)
Capable of some conversation and fulfilling societal requirements, but seldom demonstrating deep thought, analysis or intellectual curiosity. This incapability often results in a reliance and obedience towards parental and educational figures.
Greatly comfortable with routines and schedules, where nothing too complex is demanded.
Preferring to stay indoors and obsess over their fantasies. They are normally too cowardly, meek, and self-loathing to ever pursue meaningful relationships with 'real people'
"Mom made me feel warm and loved but didn't support me, this led to feelings of being broken."
"Dad didn't think that I was worth because I was broken."
"I was woken up around twelve or thirteen."
"Pretty much all I did was play video games. "
Drew's lived with his mother's aunt and uncle. The abuse that he suffered during those years would be too much for any child to bear. Drew's father tried to drown him and several alters became traumatized by the fear of learning to swim.
These early experiences are very important in the blossoming of Drew.
These alters can wake up in a location they don't know, Drew specifically in Canada, with no knowledge of what happened.
The net result of all of these experiences result in irreversible damage to Drew's ability to think and to be in any way assertive or independent.
At this stage completely helpless and subject to the whims of whichever person is giving them attention, it opens up the opportunity for them to be effortlessly controlled, used and/or exploited.
Will internalize whatever is said to them, will obey commands immediately and without thought, and will do things he doesn't like or against their own interest just for a few moments of praise.
Show levels of devotion, loyalty, affection and commitment only seen in loyal animal companions.
The broken Drew will show gratitude for abuse, apologize for any and no reason, always fulfill a task as quickly and best as he can, and then ask what else he can do to make himself useful.
There is a third alter that I wanted to interview named Nobody but Nobody is incapable of speaking.
The three alters are insatiable, now incapable of repressing their sexual desires.
The three are fundamentally altered in personality by the horrors they have been forced to experience.
All of Daniel's alters have had a history of abuse and danger from their adult caretakers, unclear as to who the abuser was currently, with many developing acute mental disorders as a result, I'm saying PTSD right now with some heavily dissociative symptoms. Problems sleeping, problems remembering thing, and problems remaining grounded.
The three alters desire nothing more than sexual satisfaction, or the satisfaction of others. What has been done to them is beyond despicable. It is beyond heinous. It is evil.